“Normies don't seem to be as self-obsessed as guys in AA, but maybe that is just my experience,” she says.She also finds that leaving behind your addict identity can be helpful.“The pros are that you can reinvent who you are and not just be ‘an addict,’” Sam says.“My boyfriend now — who is not in the program — doesn't see me as an addict.
We get so many amazing tools in the program, and if you take them and run with them, then you can be a stellar human and the best version of yourself possible.” But, even she’s been ambivalent.
“There have been times when I’ve told myself I would never date a guy in recovery again, but I've wavered. [The relationships] can be the absolute worst or the best.”That’s because, beyond the threat of relapse, those in recovery can sometimes substitute one addiction for another.
“Listen, before we do this, I need to tell you something...”I agree.
That’s one of the main upsides to dating somebody who’s also sober.
I’ve been in and out of 12-step recovery programs (like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) for almost 20 years.
I’ve had many periods of sobriety, from a paltry four months to a lengthy seven years (and everything in between).You can tell them, “I’ve been in six rehabs, four psych wards, and I’ve been arrested for assault.” And, they’re like, “Of course you have.” The downside is that they, too, are often a ticking time bomb.Natasha, an ex-pat who's been on the wagon for 10 years agrees.During the past two decades, I’ve dated both men in recovery and men who weren’t alcoholics (called “normies” by us in the program).I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?In the course of that year, 12Step Match can help you find Friendship, Support and Hope in Recovery that “The Promises” will come true for you. 12Step Match is the ORIGINAL Recovery Dating Web Site for Sober Men and Women Online to come for Sober Dates, Love or Friends and Support and to search within your own 12 Step Program of Recovery.