The most difficult part in the beginning is the confusion and shock. They will make your life so miserable that you simply give in. They don't like what you're wearing or how you speak. They always find the error or flaw in your successes.Over time, you learn to just go along, which unfortunately trains the controlling man to tighten the reins. You rarely feel good enough around this person because they always have something to correct, something you could be doing better. By using subtle negative comments or overt criticisms, these men attempt to put a wedge between you and the people you care about and who love and support you.They are looking for ways you might be exerting control over your own life. Part of their snooping and isolation efforts come from feelings of intense jealousy.
If you are just dating this guy, why waste time waiting around to figure it out when you can cut bait and find someone who isn't controlling?
If you are married or living with a controlling partner, it is much harder to end the relationship, especially if children are involved.
They are constantly suspicious of your motives and actions and view the most innocent interactions as flirting. If you express an opinion or belief, they will shut you down or ignore you.
They want to control any interactions you have with others because they are paranoid about your straying away. Nothing you say is relevant unless you echo your controlling partner's exact opinions or thoughts.
Often a controlling man will try to deflect their critical comments to make you feel overly sensitive or whiny. I'm only trying to help you.” Over time, you feel unloved and always lacking. This bully wants you to rely only on him and him alone so you become dependent on his decisions and demands. A controlling man uses love as a tool for manipulation. Guilt-tripping is a favorite tool of controlling men.
Without a support network of friends and family, you only have this man to turn to, and he wants to make sure you pay full attention to his needs. He knows you crave love and affection, so he doles it out based on what he wants from you. They find your emotional Achilles heal and play you like a fiddle once they do.
He has array of psychological tools at his disposal to ensure you do what he wants or suffer the consequences.
The consequences range from ultimatums, manipulation, and threats to shaming, blaming, and shutting you down.
They have learned how to fool the smartest, most capable woman, only to reveal their true natures once the woman is hooked. Their desires, needs, and decisions trump yours (unless they simply don't care), and if you try to argue or press your case, you'll get an ear full.