In a society that hates women, and hates female sexuality, it would make sense for sexually active and comfortable women to be, naturally, condemned.And that goes double for bisexual women, who can’t just be happy with men like nice young ladies; they have to go around chasing women, too, and sometimes not even for the titillation of straight men who like to see girl-on-girl action.Is it perhaps because bisexual women don’t fit comfortable in boxes for people, refusing to perform for the satisfaction of society?
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For it’s not just promiscuity and the idea that bi women have lots of serial sexual partners that people seem to fixate on, but the idea that a bisexual woman can’t be monogamous, that she’ll always be having sex with other people because of her sexual orientation.
I’m not quite sure how and why people make this leap (‘bi’ means ‘two,’ not ‘at the same time’), but it says a lot about how people think about women.
The expression of bisexual sexuality is varied and diverse, because human sexuality is diverse; curious indeed that we should feel a need, as a society, to marginalise bisexual women by writing them off as ‘sluts’ who sleep around.
As though there’s something wrong with being a slut, as though women who are promiscuous shouldn’t be trusted.But a second common comment I hear about is the one suggesting that bisexual women can’t be monogamous, are highly promiscuous, will deceive and trick their partners as though emotion and sexuality are a big game for them.It positions them almost as sexual predators, in a strange sense attributing stereotypically masculine traits to bisexual women.Your sexuality isn’t dependent on who you are partnered to at any given time, but your overall experience of your own sexuality; thus, a woman who says she is bisexual is bisexual whether or not she is in a relationship, regardless of who she is dating.And just like people of all sexual orientations (and asexual orientations), bisexual women run the gamut from poly women who find fulfillment in multiple complex and loving relationships to fiercely dedicated monogamous women who prefer to build rich personal relationships with a single person.Bisexuality is a frequently invisibilised, in addition to marginalised, sexual orientation.