The problem, of course, is what to do after the relationship breaks up?While most parents tend to cut off ties with their former lovers, it’s seldom that simple for the kids.
Hadfield figures that no matter how difficult it can seem, it is likely better for kids to still have contact with their parents’ romantic partners even after the romance ends.
Of course, this all depends on the strength of the relationship, the age of the child, and dozens of other factors.
Kids, Hadfield says, may actually mistrust the new partner more if they feel like he or she was the reason their parent lied.
As if that’s not complicated enough, parents are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
Whether we want to admit it or not, children are going to experience instability as their parents go in search of romantic partners.
Parents who get into these relationships may have very different expectations for how things should be than the men and women who they’re bringing home.Most of the evidence suggests doing otherwise, especially if the child is over the age of 6.There’s no firm rules here, and a lot will depend on the reasons for the original family breakdown, and if there have been other stepparents in the child’s life.That seems to be the best time to share what’s happening. If you’re fortunate enough to go from dating to moving in together and forming a blended family, what role should the new stepparent play?As I mentioned earlier, custodial parents often want the stepparent to be a real parent with responsibilities for the kids.But for those who do, and feel connected, a few visits, birthday cards, and texts could make the transition a lot smoother for everyone involved.